SNK 4kids edition
by ShadesOfSilver7
Summary: What would one of the least kid friendly animes be if it were kid friendly? 4kids thinks they can do it. Well, first they'd have to make a few tiny edits.
1. Edits part 1

**A/N: After seeing a few of these 4kids edits it got me thinking about how anyone could make a show as er... violent... as SNK into a kids show and thus this stupid thing was born. Also, please don't take this down, the 3rd for 4th chapter will be when the story begins- I promise!**

**Contains a few Spoilers. Yee be warned, all who enter.**

**I also do not own 4kids or SNK.**

* * *

Attack on Titan

Edited by 4kids.

Survey Corps will be renamed the Happy Team.

The training camps will be called the Kool Korner (because K's are cool).

Instead of swords, they will fight with balloon ones.

All blood will be replaced with sparkles.

Scratch that. Sparkles are too sharp and promote violence. All sparkles will be replaced with glitter.

Everyone eats off of Zoo-Pals plates because they encourage color, friendship and happiness.

There will be a Narrator with a kind but deep voice. He will often narrate what just happened, even though we just saw what happened because we want to make sure nobody missed what happened.

Eren will not turn into a titan by biting his thumb, but by tickling his armpit with a feather.

Mikasa will no longer be Asian- she will be a stereo-typical white girl hipster, who always shows up late with a Starbucks.

Instead of being overly protective of Eren she will be overprotective of her iPhone.

Mikasa did not cut her hair, because she had to have used something sharp and there will be no sharp objects in this show.

The beginning scene with the men protecting the walls will be removed because the men were lazy. We do not support laziness.

There will be no swearing. Only substitutes like: "Oh Jim-Jams!" And "You Sneech Spiller!"

Everyone will speak enthusiastically, causing the amount of exclamation point usage to rise drastically!11!

Titans will no longer be naked. They will wear sweat pants and suspenders.

All chapters that have titans with no skin will be removed, because it is unnatural to have no skin.

Titans are too scary for children, so titans are now gigantic moles.

Instead of titans eating humans- they will crave the crops from your garden.

The titan moles will speak, because we don't want to promote unintelligence.

They will speak in highly recognizable American accents.

Mikasa's name will be pronounced Mih-ka-sa.

Armin will have shorter hair because we don't want him to be confused with a girl.

Armin's name is too uncommon so his new name will be John.

In fact, he was rude to the bullies so we are removing him completely.

Jean will be a villain because he is arrogant and arrogant people are bad. He will oppose friendship, making it Eren's duty to perfect him.

Jean will not be sad over Marco's death because there is no emotion except happiness.

Marco will not have died- but have been turned into a puppy.

No characters will die because dying promotes death.

Any characters who have died will be turned into puppies.

Marco will be removed completely because he has freckles and freckles promote skin cancer.

Annie will have a normal nose.

Instead of fighting well, Annie will be very arrogant and talk a lot.

Actually, arrogance is bad. Annie will just be in the background smiling. She will also oppose friendship.

There will be no varying facial features. Everyone will look reasonably attractive.

Pixis will be removed because he is old and old people promote... age?

Everyone will be 13-16 years old except for young children and wise mentors.

Any wise mentors (that are of the male gender) will speak in a 1940's mid Atlantic actor voice.

Hanji Zoe will not be creepy and obsess over titan-moles.

Hanji will no longer wear glasses because bad eyesight is bad and children should not have bad eyesight.

Hanji's name is not American enough so her new name is Zoe Smith.

Levi's name is a stupid name so his name is now Drake Ravioli.

Drake will no longer be expressionless. He will always have a smile on his face.

Drake's catchphrase will be "Aw, noodles!"

Eren will always agree with Drake's decisions and without persuasion.

Anyone over the age of 35 will be removed. Actually, any chapter with someone over the age of 35 will be removed.

Eren asked his dad to turn him into a titan-mole because he wanted to be a superhero.

In fact, that's what the entire plot will be about. No other distracting sub-plots.

Instead of stabbing a titan in the back of the neck, you have to tickle it and it will fall asleep- comically.

SNK needs a comic relief character that doesn't get traumatized. Jean will have a unintelligent female companion who always messes things up for Eren and makes bad puns while doing it.

Her name will be Starr.

Unintelligence is bad. Starr will have a 4.0 in school.

Connie will be named Josh because Connie can also be a girl's name and that does not fit for a boy.

Josh will be completely removed because he is bald.

Sasha is always happy and makes puns while giving out flowers.

Everyone will constantly make stupid puns.

Instead of stealing, Sasha will ask politely for a potato.

Children will be afraid of one mole being larger than the other moles so the Colossal titan will be known as the Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole.

All uniforms will be modified to orange vests, long yellow T-shirts and blue shorts.

The shorts will go past their knees because short shorts are too short- especially for short people. (What)

Everyone will wear crocs because boots could give children blisters.

Fuel that propels them will be changed to bubbles. When they soar across the

sky there will be a trail of bubbles behind them.

Instead of wires, they will use red vines.

The cloaks will not be green because green is not a creative color.

The cloaks will be tie dyed.

Cloaks are too ominous. All cloaks will be changed to snuggies


	2. Edits part 2

Shingeki no Kyojin is too hard for children to pronounce so the new name will be Tickle no Moles.

Eren's parents will not have names and will be referred to as "Eren's mom" or "Eren's dad" as they are not important enough for names.

There is never any food shortage, because everybody was smart enough to bring a sack of food with them where ever they go.

The Walls will be to keep titan moles in instead of keeping them out.

The new opening will be 1,000 Miles by Vanessa Carlton.

The new ending will be So Yesterday by Hilary Duff.

Any and all violence will be changed to flash mobs and/or synchronized swimming.

Eren is not an angry Titan that punches other titans but instead sings karaoke with them to teach them about friendship.

The Wall will not be blown down by the titan moles because it encourages children to break into people's houses and eat their vegetables. Instead the moles will just walk in politely.

Everyone is perfect at everything, so there is no struggle during the balance training. Only for Jean. For comical reasons.

The courtroom scene will be removed because it involves politics.

Starr works at the puppy day care to make sure the puppies get fed and don't run away.

Marco will return but he will only be a puppy. Jean's puppy. An evil puppy.

There are still no freckles.

* * *

**A/N: this chapter short and I apologize. I'll make up for it next chapter.**


	3. The Fall of the Cabbages

**A/N: So, I thought long and hard about this and I'm not removing Armin. I just have better plans for him.**

* * *

'_Eren was having a dream flashback_.' Said the Narrator.

_Eren asked his father. 'Dad, will you make me a superhero?'_

_'You already are one, son. In here.' Eren's father pointed to his heart_.

Then Eren woke up and yawned brightly. The day was sunny and the birds chirped merrily. Why, nothing could go wrong today!

"Ah, what a pleasant dream!" Eren smiled. He skipped down the stairs to the kitchen where his totally-not-love-interest, his father and his mother stood.

"Good morning Eren!" They all sang in unison.

"Good morning, family that I love! -insert stupid pun here-."

Everyone laughed all together.

"Mom, I've been thinking about this for a while now, can I join the Happy Team?" Eren asked.

"Why, of course! They're all a lovely bunch. And you'd be a hero!" Said his mother.

Mikasa was texting and moved her fake horn-rimmed glasses up her nose. "What do you think, Mikasa?" Eren questioned his totally-not-love-interest.

"Lol." She replied.

"Great! I can't wait to prove myself a competent superhero!"

Eren's father stood up. "Now, son, I'm going on vacation to Northern Boston. You will have to stay here in Southern Boston with your mother and Mikasa. When I get back, I will have at least 10 new recipes for burgers and macaroni, so be good, you hear." He said in his 1940's Mid-Atlantic actor voice.

Eren nodded. "Yes, I am a good boy and do what my father tells me to."

His father laughed and ruffled his hair. "We have fun in this family." With that, he put on his fedora and walked out the door.

Mikasa made stupid pun. Everyone laughed again and the scene faded out to a group of titan moles- huddled around a table...

'_Meanwhile the titan moles were plotting to overthrow their wall to get the delicious vegetables from the humans.'_

"Yo, baws, how's we gonna get ourselves outta the wall and gets us some fresh vegeh-tables?" One mole asked.

The Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole looked at the other titan mole and smirked. "We go up to the wall... and we ask politely because even though we're the mean people in this show, it is always good to be kind."

'_The other titan moles had just learned a valuable lesson.'_ Said the Narrator. '_It is always good to be kind, even to people you do not like.'_

* * *

Eren and Mikasa were walking outside the town to find nobody, because Armi- John isn't getting beat up by bullies. Mikasa had to use a leash on Eren so that he wouldn't run off, and she needed him to make sure she didn't trip on anything- seeing as she was busy on Instagram. She raised the camera lens in front of her face and posed.

"No... makeup- this... is just... morning... me." She wrote in the description.

"Wow, it's such a lovely day! There isn't a cloud in the sky." Eren sighed happily.

"Mmhmm." Mikasa was playing an app on her IPhone. You probably haven't heard of it.

"Aw, Mikasa get off your phone! You can't use technology on a day like this!"

"Yeah, you're right. I'm done with my excessive phone usage." Mikasa would have said if she hadn't discovered a website called _Tumblr_ mentioned in a Facebook profile.

John came running from the allyway. "Guys! I just escaped the 4kids Executive Producer! You gotta help me, they're coming!"

"What? What's 4kids?" Eren asked.

"I don't know, that's just what the sign in the office said. They gave my a forced hair cut!"

"Hair cut? You can't cut your hair, silly!" Mikasa laughed.

John looked at Mikasa in confusion. "Mikasa, why are you wearing fake glasses?"

The girl in the scarf sighed. "I'm wearing them ironically. It's a statement. Duh."

"... I don't understand."

"Not everyone who has bad eyesight needs glasses."

"But no one has bad eyesight!" Eren smiled.

"Haha. Yeah."

"What's going on with you two? Why are you acting so strange?"

"That's not very nice, John!" Mikasa stated.

"Why are you calling me John? My name is Armin!"

Eren giggled. "Armin isn't a _real_ name!"

"Yes it is! It's _my_ name! I get picked on enough by bullies, but now by my friends?"

"What are 'bullies'? And why would anyone want to pick on you? Everyone is nice here. Except Jean."

"Seriously. Stop it."

"Golly, _Arm-man_- you sure aren't very kindly." Eren started. "However, I think we can fix this problem by telling each other puns and making flower crowns!"

"Flowers are symbolic! They're not allowed." Mikasa reminded him.

"Oh. Right." Just then a loud but strangely polite knock on the wall sent hundreds conflicted on weather or not to let in such friendly knocker. A few people shrugged and opened up a giant pair of doors. Suddenly (but not really all that suddenly) they realized it was the moles!

"Oh, jitterbugs!" Mikasa cried. "They're going to eat all of our vegetables!"

The Executive Producer of 4kids picked up Armin/John and placed him on the boat to the next town. "We'll talk after this chapter is over." He informed.

Armin/John gulped.

Meanwhile, Eren and Mikasa ran to their house to check and see if their garden was still in tact. As they ran there were many squeaks of fright as the realized what was happening to their beloved gardens. "My broccoli! My dear broccoli!" "Somebody save my brussel sprouts!" "My cabbages!" the citizens screamed.

The duo came to a full stop when they found Eren's mom cradling a turnip protectively.

"Mom, we have to get out of here!" Eren yelled.

"We can't! What will we do without our plants?"

A titan mole was approaching. "Alright," He sighed. "We'll gather as much of our food before the titan mole comes."

Before Eren knew it, the titan mole was exactly 18 feet away and coming at mediocre speed. Not so scary as to scare them but scary enough to startle you a bit..

"Mom, hurry, its coming!" gasped Eren.

"We've been growing these plants all year, I need to be careful!" His mother cried. This is as emotional as this show is gonna get. "Mason!" She called to a nearby milk man on his bike. "Take Eren and Mikasa to safety, I have to save my plants!"

"Ah, yes ma'am!" He said in his 1940's Mid-Atlantic actor voice and slowly strolled his way over in their direction.

"Could you please make it quicker?" She said exasperatedly.

"No, ma'am, I'm afraid I can't do that. I wouldn't want to upset the milk."

When he finally got there, the mole was extremely close by.

"Mom, hurry up! I'm hungry and I think I can hear an ice cream truck!"

Sure enough an ice cream truck was driving as fast as it could, while being chased by a mole. Why did I add egg plants as an ice cream flavor? The ice cream truck driver would have thought if we could read their thoughts.

Eren's mom was rapidly picking up the remaining food. But by then, the mole had already gotten there.

It loomed over his causing a shadow to run over the entire house. "Excuse me," it started. "May I please have all of those delicious looking garden goods?"

"Oh no! It's too polite! I just... I just have to hand them over!" Eren's mother cried as she stuck her arms full of vegetables out for the titan mole to take.

"No! Mom! You can't let them! We worked on those crops together, remember? It took so much friendship to achieve our garden! Take them back!" Yelled Eren to his mom. Which was pretty unnecessary considering the bike they were on was going two miles per hour and they were only a couple feet away.

"I'm so sorry! That would just be so rude! I can't be rude, it's not a good quality! I have to go to the shops now to get some more carrot and strawberry plants!" And then she took off.

"We can still get them back, mom! Please!" Eren cried.

Mikasa put her hand on his shoulder but she didn't look up from her phone.

"I will make sure that all titans will plant their own crops! If its the last thing I ever do." Eren said. But he didn't sound _too_ angry.

Unfortunately they hit a bump in the road causing Mikasa to drop her IPhone on the ground.

"Not my IPhone! Mr. Milkman, we have to turn back!" She cried.

"Sorry lil' lady! This bike only goes one way. Forward."

'_Eren and Mikasa took inspiration from the Milk Bike that day. And after that day, they were determined to live out their lives like that milk bike. Always slowly. Always moving forward._' The Narrator concluded.

Eren, Mikasa and the Milkman slowly (very slowly) rode off into the sunset and hoped that this chapter wasn't too sad for the children to enjoy.


	4. The Korner's Komeback

The day was slightly gloomy. Eren and Mikasa sat against the wall of a stone building while people were complaining about their lack of vegetables. The words were inaudible in a muddled cluster of... happiness and friendship. This experience had encouraged people to help eachother out. They made some fine acquaintances along the Journey, why be upset when you have friends to turn to?

Mikasa was borrowing a girl named Sasha's laptop to order a new IPhone. She rapidly tapped through the many pages of the Apple Store. Hey, the IPhone 75s is coming out in a week. Mikasa had been worried. It had been at least 68 days since the last one came out. Maybe losing her old one was a sign.

"Mikasa, are you almost done?" Eren asked. "I want to have a conversation about friendship with you!"

Mikasa didn't turn her head. "Yeah. I just have to order this."

Through the many passing faces- Eren noticed someone who was *gasp* in dire need of friendship! It was Jarmin!

Eren waved to his pal in hope to cheer him up. "Hey! Jarmin! Come over and say hi!" He yelled.

"I suppose that means my punishment begins now." Jarmin sighed and made his way over to Eren and Mikasa, leaned his back to the wall and lowered himself to the ground.

"What's got ya down, brother?" questioned Eren and his awkward word choice.

Jarmin looked down at his feet. "Does something feel different to you?" He murmered quietly.

Eren cocked his head. "How do you mean?"

"The way everyone's acting around eachother."

Jarmin looked up slowly. In a dark doorway stood a pair of red eyes and a piece of paper titled "The Ownment of Your Soul". Only Jarmin could see it. Everyone else was oblivious. Jarmin shook with fear. "N-nevermind."

"Hey, Jarmin, Mikasa and I were thinking about joining the Kool Korner. We're inviting you to join! That's what friends do!" Eren smiled.

"Huh? Oh. Sure." Jarmin nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like fun."

"I can't wait to be a superhero!"

"Pardon?"

"I'm gonna be the very best!" Eren stood up.

"Oh please no."

"That no one ever was!"

"Eren I'm asking you to please..."

"To plant them is my real-."

Eren's solo was cut off by Mikasa placing a loaf of bread in Eren's mouth. She locked eyes with him. "Eren." She whispered. "No."

'Keep in mind that she was doing this out of friendship. Why, she didn't want Eren to get hungry!' Stated the Narrator.

* * *

"Rule number one in the Kool Korner," Boomed the voice of the camp director: Steve Bob. "Is to have fun and learn the responsibilities of the precious thing we call 'friendship'!"

Everyone who was applying stood in five rows and looked very timid. Steve Bob was speaking in a manner that could only mean he'd rehearsed this speech at least a dozen times.

"Now, this isn't a normal kamp for kool kids, here we like to have fun and support eachother. If we don't have that- then what do we have? That's why we're all going to be friends here! Let's all give small introductions and what talent we bring to the camp. This will help us get to know eachother better!" He yelled enthusiastically. "So I'm going to start and we'll all go through the rows in Krista's direction.

"Hi, my is Steve Bob and I bring the talent of teaching and randomness!"

"Darn it, he stole my idea!" Came an unrecognized voice in the background.

So after countless fidgety and friendshippy introductions it was finally Eren's turn. He was going to give an introduction no one would forget!

"My name is Eren!" He shouted confidently. "And I bring the talent of super heroism!"

Everyone was silent for a while. Then they all burst into applause.

"You're a super hero?"

"Teach me how to be so cool!"

"Can you bring back my cabbages?"

The voices enthusiastically congratulated Eren for being a superhero. And in that moment, he knew he would make a lot of friends!

But there was one person who wasn't feeling the love. And his name was... Jean!

"Who does he think he is? I oppose friendship and I must stop him from spreading it, for I am very talented and capable of this! Along with Starr- my super cool companion- and my dog Marco- the freckle-less dog- nothing can defeat me! Nothing! Nothing! Muahahahaha!" Jean laughed. No one seemed to hear his monologue.

* * *

Mikasa got into her red vine gear and immediately contained her balance with the perfection of a swan. She could have kept it longer, but she found an inspirational quote on a pretty landscape on Sasha's commuter screen and went to go check it out. Jarmin did well but it wasn't really worth noting. But he was very confused as to why everyone was climbing into red vine gear. Annie laughed and applauded them all.

Finally it was Eren's turn, he would not fail his friends! He put on his red vines.

Jean, Starr and Marco stood behind the poles holding up the balance... thingies. "Kukukuku! I have tampered with Eren's gear! He should not be able to balance on his own!"

"Yeah, that was real smart, Jean!" Starr agreed.

Marco barked.

Eren was wobbling while he was suspended in the air. Something was wrong! He didn't feel very balanced... But his determination was too strong and he stayed up anyway!

Eren gasped. "The power of friendship has given me the ability to balance!"

Steve Bob walked over to Eren and gazed in awe.

"Eren, those gears are faulty! How are you able to balance yourself? You must really be a friendship superhero!"

"Drat! It seems it didn't work!" Starr said upsetidly. "Jean it looks like its your turn."

Jean forgot to change out the red vine gear and instantly fell down on his face.

"Wow, Jean. Are you a fired accountant? Because you just lost your balance!"

Everyone laughed.

When they were done laughing they gazed into the sunset.

'_Jean learned to not tamper with red vine gears anymore. If he can stop himself, you can too, you little sno-... Children..._' Said the Narrator.

* * *

Jarmin yawned as he headed to his cabin for sleep. When he entered he noticed the cabin wasn't a cabin at all. It was the office he found himself in only a few weeks ago. A group of tidy people in suits and dress clothes sat together around a rectangular table. Covering their eyes was the logo for 4kids. At least his name was "Armin" here.

"Sit down, Armin." The woman at the head of the table said. "You're not supposed to talk with other people how things 'should' be to your fellows."

"I didn't say anything about this, honest!" He persuaded.

"We know. But we have to be sure that never happens. Now, we're going to get the friendship stick. If you do not comply, then..."

Armin shivered at her implication.

"We no longer have control over your personality, thanks to Jerald," The woman grumbled that last part about Jerald. "So it seems you'll just have to listen to what we say. Believe me, you'll listen one way or another. Because this definatly isn't the first time Jerald screwed up."

_'So there are more people like me?_ Armin thought to himself.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll do what you say from now on."

The woman gave a sickeningly sweet smile. "Good. We'll be having these meetings after every episode to check up on you." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

Armin nodded. As he made his way to the door something caught his eye. It was the a metal sphere symmetrically displayed with hundreds of small slots. 4kids wasn't very subtle to say the least. Below it had written in comic sans "This is used to cloak the happenings of the behind the scenes of 4kids. Do not do touch". Noting to himself that 4kids awkwardly worded lots of things as he non-chalantly rolled it into his pocket without the staff noticing him and he walked out the door. And the readers took a large mental breath after seeing that horrid run-on sentence.

* * *

The credits rolled while playing the Hilary Duff song. Instead of the usual displayment of the friendship montage- it was the 4kids staff.

"Now that we've corrupted another anime, we are one step closer to world domination! Muahahaha!" Laughed the woman. "Wait a second... Are we on air? Jerald stole the cloaker, didn't he?" She glared at Jerald. "Jerald, out!"

Jerald made his way out of the office like a dog being cast out into the rain. He stared at the occupants of the office from the outside of the windowed room.

* * *

**A/N: New game. Every time the word friend/friendship, etc. comes up take a drink.**


	5. Day of Puns

"Mikasa! Mikasa! I received a letter from mom!" shouted Eren, waving an envelope in the air as he ran towards his totally-not-love-interest.

She gasped. "Wow! And my IPhone has arrived, so that's two good things!"

"Lets see what it says..." He began reading the note.

_"Dear Eren and Mikasa,_

_I'm afraid I bring you unfortunate news. But it's not _too_ unfortunate. You see, I've been turned into a puppy. I'm having to write this message with my teeth, so I don't even know if what I'm writing is dance dance hieroglyphics bread. However, friendly scientists are creating a formula to change those who have been turned into puppies. I hope to see you again soon, and I hope you're making all kinds of friends!_

_With love,_

_Gangabooshka."_

"Oh no!" Mikasa cried. "I can't believe this happened! Mom's probably having a ruff time with this all!"

Eren was devastated. "She's really in the dog house, isn't she?"

Annie walked in and quickly caught on to what was happening. "It seems a little far fetched that they'll find a cure soon, though."

Reiner- who is now introduced with a happy and helpful personality- came and read the letter. "That is indeed a sad tail. I only wish there was something we could dooby-dooby-do!"

"Stop with all of these dog-gone puns!" Yelled Armin from behind a bush.

Everyone laughed.

* * *

'_In the glorious sun filled morning, Steve Bob gave some exciting announcements. Announcements that would change everything. For the better.'_

"Hahaha, alright everybody!" Began the counselor. "So, it's time for our graduation! And surprise... You all graduate!"

Everyone cheered except Jean (because he is not nice) and Marco (because he is a puppy). Instead, Jean stood in the corner with a grim look on his face. He stroked the freckle-less puppy in his arms while Starr danced around him with confetti.

"I'm so proud of you all! And this means you are all joining the Happy Team!" The cheering ensued. "That is, once you all finish your last mission! Which is keeping all of the moles into their wall again!

We'll split you all up into groups and together we will draw the titan moles back to their home! Once they're in we're going to have to plant plants in front of the doors."

"But, dont they eat plants?" Armin piped up.

"These plants are stinky."

"Okay, but won't it take a while for the plants to grow?"

"They're super plants! Stop asking questions!"

Armin rolled his eyes.

Luckily, everyone was prepared with their red vines and high tech balloon swords.

* * *

Eren stood at the top of the wall and waited. He waited for quite some time. How long had it been? 40 minutes? Longer? No one knows why he stood there so patiently. Or why this paragraph is going on about how long he's been waiting. Was there a point? Why are there so many questions? Oh, there is a point.

Finally, after waiting a very long time, Eren sighed. Maybe he should give up. turned around to see... The Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole!

Now that might've been scary for kids so the Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole said, "Hellooo!" In a really squeaky voice.

The boy in tacky clothing gasped. The visions of the dreaded day returned to him. But he then remembered the milk bike. That slow (terribly slow) milk bike that had saved his and Mikasa's life. "I'm going to make you plANT YOUR OWN GOSH-DERN-IT-WIZZY-FIZZY-OOJIE-GOOJIE-PUP-POOJIE-C THULU-FOOJOOJI-HAMOOJIE PLANTS IF IT'S ThE LAst THING i eVeR DO!"

The Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole prepared for the boy's tickle. The Tickle no Mole!

_'To be continued...'_

* * *

**Oh gosh, I hope you know I don't find this chapter spectacular. I hate using this excuse but I'm down with a nasty cough and I think that might be why this isn't very good. So don't give up on me yet, please! And I really appreciate all of your support!**


	6. A Friend in the Flowers

'_Hope was on his side. It was time. Time to prove that Eren had what it took to be a super hero and defeat the Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole.' _Said the Narrator.

"FREIIIINNDSHIIIIIIIP!" Eren yelled as he raised his feathers for tickling. His target was the back of the neck- the one true spot of tickle.

The Somewhat-More-Colossal-Than-The-Other-Titan-Moles- Titan-Mole ignored the boy and reached to grab the entire supply of extra feathers. He seemed unfazed while Eren shrieked the words "friendship, friendship, friendship!" and colossal swiped the ticklers. Eren was nearing but before he was able to strike, the titan vanished in a puff of glitter. This caused Eren to smack against the wall comically.

"W-what? Where did it go?" He gasped and looked around. "He couldn't have just disappeared! I didn't even get to give him my friendship bracelet!"

Slightly put off, Eren began to search for his teammates.

* * *

"Mikasa, come on!"

"No!"

"Please! We need you!"

Annie and Reiner were pulling on the young hipster's legs, trying to pry her away from her technology.

"If I go, my IPhone could be in danger! It's updated to have 0.8% better sound amplification than the last one!"

An unidentified background voice sighed. "Mikasa, how is that in any way important to this mission?"

Mikasa huffed and moved her glasses up her nose as if the answer were obvious. "That means I can't get good sound while also having strong foundations! It has a weaker screen!"

"Here," Starr pranced up to Mikasa. "Let me look after it. I'll be keeping watch of the puppies, so it won't get damaged!"

She glanced around at her friends uncertainly and quietly groaned. Could she trust Starr? Of course she could! When had Starr ever failed her? Mikasa ran her fingers down the side of the screen."T-take good care of it. Please."

'Eventually, Mikasa trusted her friend, so she decided to let her watch over it. Friends will always be there t help you out!'

Starr nodded and set off to care for her fallen puppy mates.

Reaching down to Mikasa's level was Annie's hand. "Come, friend! Let us help the people who require the crops and restore our land of plantations!"

Mikasa accepted the hand with gratitude as they made their ways to the farming grounds.

* * *

Eren blasted his red vine suction cups to his will to find his teammates. Luckily he spotted the small clump of people who required his friendship.

"Hey there, Eren! How are you? Ready to get started?" One of the background teammates asked.

"I'm ready as a kangaroo on a two-wheeler!" He replied.

Everyone laughed except a timid looking Jarmin in the shadows.

"Great! So I've got the whole plan mapped out. It will require teamwork and we all have our fair share of importance." Said a teammate.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eren spotted a lone titan mole. It looked like it was up to no good. "Its fine everyone, I got this!" And he raced off to tickle it.

Everyone else continued with the plans and didn't take notice in Eren's absence. They were interrupted by another large titan mole, searching some nice raddish plants.

"Looks like we've got one! We'll stop it, with our teamwork!"

Everyone cheered in agreement.

But one friend was ahead of the others. A friend who was eager to share his potential to his friends! His red vines attached to a rooftop, followed by a plethora of bubbles. As he raised his feathers he yelled "I will save the plantations!" The titan mole was expecting this- and he moved his face to level with his potential tickler. Out of the titan moles' eyes' shot a laser beam that turned the friend into a puppy.

Everyone gasped. "We have to save him!" One of them cried.

She followed in the same pattern as her now-puppy pal did. The titan mole expected her to follow her friend and turned her into a puppy as well.

The two other teammates followed in -still- the same exact way the now-puppy friends did. The titan mole quickly turned them into puppies as if it were no big deal (which it wasn't really).

'Lovely. The poor teammates had all been turned into puppies! What would they do?' The Narrator asked the audience.

The only one left was Jarmin. He stood on a roof- utterly confused. _I can't even pretend to go along with this anymore. Red vines used as grabbing gear? Soap bubbles used to propel? Balloon and feather swords? Why are my friends puppies? What's with the horrid taste in clothing? We're fighting gigantic moles in suspenders for crying out loud!_ Surely this is just a dream.

"What did I eat last night?" Jarmin groaned. "A-am I high? There must be a better explanation for all of this."

He collapsed on the roof- unaware of a titan mole approaching. Luckily, Eren had just finished tickling his previous mole victim and noticed his friend in need!

"Jarrmaaannn!" He called.

Jarmin awoke from his daze to see Eren coming from behind the titan. However, silly Starr had to rui- lighten the mood! The girl was carrying a basket of puppies as she rode through the town.

'Proving herself a worthy friend, Starr saw what was taking place. She knew she had to do something!'

A puppy with Mikasa's pride and joy in it's mouth squeaked as Starr placed it above her head. "Hey! Titan mole! Pay attention to this cute little pup- whoops!" Starr dropped the puppy onto the lazering titan mole's face. Eren slammed into it's fuzzy back -comically- and fell into a nice sun flower feild. This (somehow) created the illusion of Eren being turned into a puppy.

Jarmin watched in horror filled confusion. The puppy lept off the mole's head and into Jarmin's lap. Confused, the titan mole walked off into the sunset.

"What just... What? Oh no! My best friend is a dog! I don't get it! I don't..." Jarmin placed his head in his arms as if it would help.

Starr passed by again and threw glitter in the air like confetti.

To be continued...


End file.
